Humans are complex. We are made up of so many different layers and such a wide variety of mechanisms that can motivate us. Each of us is affected differently by the things that motivate us. You may find that there are similarities between individuals, but we each have a different set of experiences from which we draw the knowledge that helps us to make our decisions. So, what motivates you? Do you ever think about that?
- Is it fear? (And if you think about it, the range of fears that people have from external to internal are so wide-ranging that could be a blog in and of itself.)
- Is it what others think?
- Or what you think they think?
- Or what you think they expect of you?
- Is it an innate need to prove yourself?
- Are you proving yourself to YOU or to others?
- Or to an unknown group of people out there..."society"..."them"
There are deep things from our past, things we don't want to revisit because they hurt. They might be APPEAR to be small things...but it is the smallest of papercuts that can really hurt. And it doesn't matter if on some worldly scale of others' pain that this "thing" is so "small"...
If it happened to YOU, it's a big deal.
This is your life, your world, your experience, your pain and for you it's a big deal. Especially if, when you give it some thought, you can still remember it after years, especially if you can see how that one thing, that one experience, is a tiny building block for who you have grown into today.
Think about it. Puppies are born, they are innocent and trusting, but as they grow, if they experience a human hitting them, they learn to flinch when an arm is raised. One that is never struck doesn't know to do that. It is a learned response.
Think of the emotional pains you've been through, the small ones throughout childhood, from parents, family members, siblings, classmates, friends, other adults in your world...the words, the actions or lack of actions, the variety of things that have hurt you in small ways... The things that caused you maybe not to trust in a particular area or to wall off that part of your heart to protect it. You may have glazed it all over as "experience" but really think about how many layers of protection you've plastered over your heart due to those experiences.
Now think about what motivates you and why?
- Is that motivating factor balanced or healthy?
- Is the logic behind it solid?
- Is it long lasting or temporary?
What motivates me and why?
Who am I?
Who do I want to be?
Who is the real me, the one I protect with all of my defense mechanisms?
In the past few years, I have been making decisions at work for reasons that appear logical for someone who is ambitious, but that don't really reflect what I WANT. I haven't been satisfied with ME, so I have allowed my "ambition" to take the lead (instead of my heart). My heart's desire just wasn't acceptable for some reason...I wasn't acceptable...I wasn't enough...I had to keep striving. So my ambition drove me.
Since I am single, I kept choosing work travel opportunities. I love to travel, however, traveling a great deal is not conducive for developing friendships, let alone relationships, but I justified it and told my heart to stuff it, that I probably wouldn't have those things anyway. I believed lies to support my "ambition" habit. I suppressed my true desires and chased after superficial ones. It seemed less risky for my heart, if I continued to participate in superficial choices...however, it has also been less rewarding.
(Ambition is NOT a bad thing when in balance and for the right reasons. )
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be challenged at work, however, when you think that, in the challenge, you will find purpose, and by default an identity and meaning, then it's out of balance.
Your identity, meaning and purpose should come from the ONE unchanging thing in existence. It can only come from a close relationship with God, by letting him peel back the layers of your heart to get to the real you and then trusting his design and accepting the "you" as God intended. You can't do this alone. You have too many defense mechanisms that are "at the ready" to protect you. You need God to do this.
When you get your identity grounded in God:
- What people think begins to matter less
- You have nothing to prove
- You don't need work to define you
- Owning things to fill a void, give you a status or just to make you 'feel' better begins to hold less appeal
- You begin to find true satisfaction in the more meaningful things in life that God directs you to
Painful past experiences can be like a festering wound hidden beneath layers of old soiled clothing and bandages. Hidden from view, but limiting you from really letting God have ALL aspects of you.
Until you talk about, acknowledge and grieve your past hurts, your defense mechanisms will stay in place and keep you from the freedom that God truly wants you to have.
Will you take the chance to let God love you first?
Will you take the chance to try to see who he created uniquely in YOU?
Will you risk facing that pain so that it can be healed once and for all letting you truly moving forward?
Will you be brave enough to seek true freedom and evolving into the valuable and cherished chosen one that God intended you to be?
I dare you.
It's probably the most dangerous and risky thing you will ever do in your life.
To risk being YOU instead of the "you" that others are "allowed" to see.
Try it. Let God help you find that person. Dive Deep!
Great reward requires great risk!!!!!
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